Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
