I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
