he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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