$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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