bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
