And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
