i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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