I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
