ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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