Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
then he tried to convert me to islam
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
