she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
They took my balls.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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