Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?