i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia