i jhust puked up my retainher.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
be there in ten.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.