Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
