I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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