I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize