I hope mine doesn't look like that
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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