It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
