Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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