Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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