He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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