There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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