i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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