D3 body, D1 cock
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
