He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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