We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
