So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
