why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
