member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
