I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize