Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
