Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
