The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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