butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You can't just leave with hair like that
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Randomize
