I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
