Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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