i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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