Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Randomize
