toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
