Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
