You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
