Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize