We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
