Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
