Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
