I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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