turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
