how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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