i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
