what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
