I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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