even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
