They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
