I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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