worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
i believe in u and ur pee
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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