I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
