I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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