found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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