so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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