if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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