I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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