my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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