Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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